IF ONLY HE WOULD...

Me:  (in my absolutely correct, self-righteous voice)  "IF ONLY HE WOULD GET A JOB, STOP WITH THE DOPE, DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIS ANGER AND STOP MAKING EXCUSES THIS MARRIAGE COULD WORK".  I meant it too.

Her:   An awesome Higher Power with an awesome dog (in a non-judgemental ...for real... voice) "Do you look at the western skies and want them to be drywall and spackle instead of wide open? Do you look at a zebra and want it to be a giraffe, a kitten or a pine bark beetle? Did you look at  your week old son and want him to be potty trained and playing varsity basketball?"

Me:   "No. Never." In my head i was thinking "What kind of damn question is that?" but i didn't let it fly.

Her:   "Well then....you have a start and are on your way."

And so I was. The clueless look on my face was for real.

INTERVENTION

I watched INTERVENTION on TV for the first time and two weeks later I still have the urge to throw the sofa through the television.  What really kicked my butt was watching how deadly the enabling and care taking was and knowing just how much of it I have done in my life. I am totally and absolutely more comfortable being a drunk and belligerent abusive person and trying to change that than I am being somebody that is abusing somebody else in order to be comfortable and make myself feel OK. I always justify myself by saying that the other person will feel so much better if they just did things my way because I have their best interests at heart. Those last couple of statements prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that  honesty can be undignified.  And so can I.  Some parts of me make me want to puke.

Al-Anon...Here I come.

THE RULES

OK. I have been informed that I need to establish some ground rules for my site.  I am so excited.  I always want everything my own way so this is my big chance to operate out of my phycho control freakiness AND feel like a saint while I'm at it. Win-win.

The rules:
               1.)     Be nice.  I mean it too.  This doesn't mean you can't disagree.  You
                        are allowed to disagree.  You are not allowed to be mean or disrespect-
                        ful.  If you don't feel nice - don't comment.  Simple.
               2.)     Don't be selling your stuff without my permission. This is my website.
                        If you want to sell stuff  make your own site.  I do have plans to sell
                        other peoples stuff on here so if you really think that our outlooks are
                        similar and would work together contact me and we can talk about it.
                        The final decision is mine.  Of course.
               3.)     Don't be shoving your religion or your concept of right and wrong down
                        anybody's throat on this site. Especially mine.  I have a religion and a
                        church and I believe in God and I live my life with God as the center of  it.
                        We will not be arguing religion (or anything else I don't want to argue
                        about) here.
               4.)     Don't be babbling on and on.  I am the only one that gets to do that here.
                        I am a world class babbler and I will suffer no threats to my status in my
                        own kingdom.  If I venture out of here - feel free to throw your hat in the
                        ring.
              5.)      No cussing.  I have worked like a dog to eliminate cussing from my list of
                        bad habits and if I can't do it, I'm not letting anyone else do it either. Sour
                        grapes type thinking - for sure.  Also - the way it is - for sure.